Change and Forced Instability
The one factor you can count on happening in life is change. The perceptions and acceptance of changes in life are highly variable. Some individuals yearn for a change when conditions in their life have become predictable or monotonous. Other people like predictability, they thrive on the belief that they have control over their daily transactions. Some changes are easily managed because the change is small and will have very little impact to your life. Other changes propose challenges because they are larger, and therefore have a greater impact to your life. This same variations in the ability to accept change are applicable to the initiation and transitional period of when and how a change occurs. If a change comes gradually and is well understood and expected, it might be easier to manage the change compared to a change that is sudden or unexpected.
The challenges introduced by change are also widely variable since we will each experience individualized perceptions and interpretations of what are the challenges proposed by the changes. Moreover, often individuals yearn for a change of a certain life circumstance or condition, and if and when the change they desire occurs, they still must adjust to the change, and may be regretful at the loss of the previous life circumstance or condition.
The separation from your former partner has perhaps been a forced change. At present, this change feels more negative than positive. This change will bring instability to your current state of being. As the change is unfolding, you feel like you are uncertain about the future, and may be unsure how you are going to cope with the change. In many cases, you will have only two options to accept and adapt to the change. How you accept and adapt to the change will be dependent on your interpretation and perception of the change. Furthermore, your perception of how negative and positive this event is in your life will impact your personal resilience and ability to adapt to the change.
Perhaps a first step is to assess the impact the separation will have on your life. For example, your partner is no longer a known fixture in your life, you no longer share living quarters, you will not see him or her everyday. You will probably no longer share financial assets or responsibilities with your former partner. You will no longer have your former partner as a companion. You will no longer have your former partner as a trusted confidant.
Another impact of the change caused by the separation from your former partner, is the requirement to change the impression you had of them. You may have viewed your relationship and partnership, and partner as healthy, satisfying, and passionate. You may have perceived your partner as a person other than what you have witnessed in recent days, weeks, months, years. Maybe your partner has changed, or maybe you have changed, but it seems that they are not the person who you thought they were. This is still an element of change which must be processed in order to assess the impact the change in perception of who your partners was/is will have on your life. Trust is more than likely the biggest change you will need to adjust to, as you will probably be in a situation where someone you believed you could trust, is actually not trustworthy.
❐ How will the change of no longer having your former partner in your life impact your day-to-day life and routines, you medium range plans, and your long range goals and objectives?
❐ What will be the impact of no longer having your former partner’s physical presence in your life?
